Rainy Afternoon

Today was supposed to be nature class day for my little one, but the weather had different ideas. At 12:30pm the clouds which had been threatening rain gathered in earnest, darkening the sky and, finally, unleashing their fury. No mere shower, this was a serious rainstorm, with big gloppy raindrops spattering the driveway and the lake behind our house, blowing sideways in the wind, tapping on our windows as if demanding entry. Shortly after the rain began, thunder followed, loud claps of thunder followed by flashes of lightning to rival the paparazzi at an Academy Awards ceremony. Now, an hour later, it's quiet outside. A few grey clouds hang over the house, and droplets of rain sparkle on our window screens, but the storm has passed, at least for now. My daughter's class was scheduled for 1:00pm; it's 1:19 now, and we probably could have gone, but the teacher canceled, siting that most of the people signed up didn't want to drive in torrential downpours to get to the park. I understand, as I drive a small Kia which was born in 2002, who dislikes stopping on rain slicked streets and needs a front end alignment (not fun to drive in windy conditions).

Given that I had a few unexpected minutes semi-free (are we ever really subject to "free" moments when mothering small children? I feel slightly guilty sitting at my computer!), I decided to create this blog, a place to muse about the larger events taking place in the world, the events taking place in my own life, and navigating life while straddling the seemingly impossible worlds of three different religions. My hope is that I will find here a place to connect with others traveling their own spiritual paths, to get to the bottom of what it is exactly that I believe in, what nourishes my soul. I am Jewish by defined religion, married to a Catholic man. Over the years, I've also wandered around the hallowed halls of Christianity (but found it was not for me), enjoy meditation, and attend Goddess gatherings. I am always called back to Judaism in some way, though, unwilling to cast it aside and dive completely into a new ocean of belief. Many people don't understand how rich a religion Judaism is; I, myself, wasn't aware of how complex a spiritual path it was until I began reading and reading and reading more about the old Chasidic masters, about the Zohar, about Torah and all of the different ideas that spring forth from the myriad of translations in existence with regard to the sacred texts.

I once read that a person with a Jewish soul will always feel a longing deep within to return to his or her Jewish religion. This is because, it is said, people with a Jewish soul (even people who have converted, since it is believed that the soul of a convert has been reborn and, as such, is a newly born Jewish soul regardless of one's previous affiliation) were actually present at Sinai when the covenant was formed between G-d and the Jewish people. We know deep within our souls that the covenant exists and that it is something wonderful, not to be cast aside. We yearn for that connection. Maybe that's why I keep going back-I'm not sure. Over the past few months, I've pretty much thought about myself as a Universalist, and I don't plan on looking down my nose at anyone for their personal spiritual beliefs (or lack thereof) because I feel that there are many paths down which one can travel to make a connection with the One of Blessing. But, I'm open to learning more, to finding the value in this way of life, to figuring out what it is I really believe deep within, and, hopefully, to having fun along the way.